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Overcome Addiction

Recovery Contest Winner #8: The Way Therapy Opened Me Up

November 19, 2018Genius RecoveryBlog, Latest Content

In honor of Recovery Month, we asked you to send us your stories about the impact community, nutrition or environment has had on your life since you put down substances and picked up life. Winners are not only receiving copies of our book, The Miracle Morning for Addiction Recovery, but are also being published here on the site.

This week we have Karen G.

Community definitely played and continues to play the most important part of getting to celebrate six years staying on the alcohol recovery road.

It started with my medical community—particularly the physician’s assistant who stayed with me for hours as I totally broke down and admitted I needed help. She got me through the worst—making many calls, scheduling office visits, checking on me and acting as my therapist those first few weeks.

Swallowing my pride and ego, I went to a therapist to finally address my inner pain. It took four different therapists until I found the right one for me. She listened to me, gave me encouragement and kindness when needed, and tough love and honesty when I needed that too.

Over one-and-a-half years, she guided me, going backwards through my life until I thoroughly got through each painful incident. Surprised, I realized hidden in my subconscious was the day I was born, teased by my family because I made dad miss his favorite TV show, Gunsmoke. I unknowingly added my own words to the teasing of not being lovable, but an inconvenience.

She helped me face the pain within not only from others, but from myself and my own self-defeatist words I told my inner victim mind. Getting through that was one of the hardest, most painful things I’ve ever done. I’m so grateful I faced it, or I’d still be in that pain. It was cleansing—crying deeply in therapy and at home. I learned then that we need to release ALL the pain, or it still owns you.

I now have those memories but without the pain attached.

I’ve learned, when I start to feel like a victim, to stop and tell myself that those words don’t have a place in my life any longer and can’t stay. I let myself feel the pain, anger and sadness but then it doesn’t get to move in and take up residence any longer.

I’ve been going to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me in the top 10% of extreme generalized anxiety clients; I’ve also been diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed a low dose of medication, which has helped me immensely.

Recovery has included a six-week beginning yoga workshop a few months after I stopped drinking, which led me to a different community of individuals I saw as “interesting” before. That started my journey experiencing different styles of yoga and meditation classes, going to two different healers, learning breath techniques and opening a whole new area of inner growth and tools to help me.

Finally, attending motivational self-help events and sharing with others during group exercises helped me realize I wasn’t alone in my painful experiences. I have become great friends with many who are my community now. Podcasts, Facebook Lives, other social media events and trainings also help to keep me on my new road of sobriety.

It’s not always easy not drinking, but I get to enjoy truly living again and creating new meaningful memories with my daughter, husband and so many others I’m so grateful for.

Related

: recovery, therapy, yoga
Previous Post Stars Are NOT Just Like Us When It Comes to Staying Sober Next Post Can a Certified Couch Potato Embrace Exercise in Recovery?

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An Open Letter to Anyone Struggling with Addiction
By Joe Polish
First I want to say how sorry I am that you or someone you love is struggling with addiction. I know firsthand how painful it is. Addiction nearly killed me when I was 18 years old.
What I’ve learned since then is that almost all addiction stems from trauma. This can be difficult for some people to understand; they assume trauma has to mean a person was beaten, molested or in a life-threatening accident. But we all have different levels of sensitivity.
Addiction is something you are driven to do—anything you crave that gives you temporary pleasure or relief but then causes negative consequences. Addiction is something you are unable to give up, despite the suffering it causes.
The challenging thing for people that don’t have this to understand is how someone could have that craving in the first place. They wonder why the addict can’t just make a better choice.
I’m of the belief that addiction is not a choice. Once the addict goes into a craving state, it’s beyond willpower or intelligence. Intelligence can actually be a detriment because the smarter people are, the more they believe they can think their way out of the problem.
What many don’t understand is that addiction isn’t a problem—it’s actually a solution. If you’re in pain, angst, anxiety, fear, rage, depression, sadness, loneliness or experiencing any other form of suffering, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be out of that pain. It’s how we go about scratching the itch that causes the issue.
Ultimately, addiction is a connection disorder. It’s feeling incredibly disconnected and uncomfortable in your own skin. You just want to numb out, or escape. You want to feel something—anything except the dread that comes with that craving state…a state that always has compulsivity or impulsivity attached to it.
Looking at addiction from a state of compassion, as opposed to judgment, is critical. We cannot punish or beat addiction out of somebody. Sure, we can throw people in prison, scold them or run away from them, but that doesn’t help make the cravings go away. Love and compassion are critical—though, of course, those can be difficult emotions to embrace when dealing with addicts. The symptoms of addiction can be ugly; they often involve activities like cheating, disrupting, lying, stealing and other egregious acts. That’s because addicts will do anything to get out of the pain they are in. The addict brain has an appetite for destruction and is fueled more by chaos than harmony. In other words, it’s hard for addicts to feel okay. And it’s not easy to feel compassion for someone who’s leaving shrapnel in their wake. But the more you can understand that the addict is in pain and just trying to get out of it, the easier it can be to deal with the recklessness and chaos that comes with it.
Addiction is also biochemical. You are dealing with serotonin and dopamine. Once you quit the drug or behavior, you may have to fix and repair the gut. You have to get the body back to a state where it produces “feel good” chemicals in order to cope with the uncomfortable feelings. This means exercise, yoga, meditation, float pods, the right nutrition, and more. The issues are in the tissues, and if you can incorporate movement and communities, it can help heal. Building a rapport by being around other addicts is critical. It doesn’t have to be a 12-step meeting; you just need a community—an ongoing, consistent community.
It’s a lot of work—but not nearly as much work as active addiction. And if you’re willing to do the work, there’s freedom on the other side that most addicts and their families probably haven’t ever experienced before. The bottom line: help is available. There are many people and resources available at little or no cost.