Gabor Mate

Recovery Month Contest Winner #1: Recovering in Waves by Lynn Fraser

In honor of Recovery Month, we asked you to send us your stories about the impact community, nutrition or environment has had on your life since you put down substances and picked up life. Winners are not only receiving copies of our book, The Miracle Morning for Addiction Recovery, but are also being published here on the site.

First up we have Lynn Fraser. Find out more about Lynn here.

As a teen, I was desperate to escape the pain of bullying and used sugar, alcohol and other drugs. I dissociated. I considered suicide.

We medicate ourselves when we can’t stand feeling powerless and shamed. I’ve used the “bad ones”—sugar, alcohol and other drugs, and socially approved addictions like codependent relationships and over working. I stopped drinking and drugs in my mid-20s.

In the past five years, I finally healed the trauma and disconnection that was driving the need to escape.

Twenty-five years ago, I learned meditation and developed a connection within myself and within a community. I began to see how the mind worked and gradually healed the what-if catastrophic and compulsive thinking that was torturing me. I got to know myself on many levels and became kinder to myself.

Six years ago, I left an unhealthy relationship. I learned about Developmental Trauma. I began to release trauma stored in my body and I now specialize in supporting people to feel safe enough to heal. With the right support, we reach a tipping point where we no longer need to hide out or escape.

I connected with myself. I felt hopeful I could end my suffering. I stopped shaming and judging myself. I begin to have experiences of being okay. I became patient and compassionate with myself.

I connected with my sense of value through inquiring into and seeing through core deficiency beliefs of unworthiness and shame. Many of us had experiences as children of feeling unloved and unworthy, of feeling like we are being hurt because we are fundamentally bad. We developed beliefs based our experiences and these beliefs persist. They are the innocent beliefs formed when we were children and they are not true.

As I let go of the self-loathing and shame, my mind became healthier. When a negative thought comes up now, I notice it. I gently inquire into why I feel triggered into shame. My whole life and experience is workable.

Every single day I am grateful for my stability and presence and that I can help other people find their own safety and healing.